Friday, December 14, 2007

Child Abuse

I got a call from my cousin last night, she was screaming at me saying "you pay sooo much attention to the labour expats issues, that you've neglected your own people's rights" She was at the supermarket last night when she saw a Kuwaiti man and an asian woman in the car with 3 children ages from 3 years to 6 years. When the man got out of the car to get things from the supermarket, the asian woman started throwing punches at the 3 year old, slapping him and punching him while looking around to see if the man was coming. So my cousins confronted the man and he said the woman was his wife, which gives her the right to slap her own kids.

Anywhere in the world you can call child protection services in cases such as these, but in Kuwait we have not yet tackled the issue of child abuse thinking it really is none of our business. A friend of mine worked at Farwaniya hospital for a while and she said it was very common that children would be admitted to the hospital for broken bones and burns. The story is the father or mother would make threats like "If you do that one more time, I'll thrown you from the roof" or "if you don't stop that i'll burn you with hot tea" and when the child doesn't stop, the parent literally does what they planned to do so that they stick to their word and the kids will always take them seriously.

These kids are the future of Kuwait, how stable can an abused child be? These parents are destroying the future of their kids and destroying Kuwait's future.. How successul will an abused child be? What can they give back to society? Are they going to be future abusers?

Isn't it time to have a major awareness campaign on abuse and especially child abuse?


pink said...

my god! YES...i will b the first to partcipate in this campaign..just tell me how,wen&whr..and i will get the job of strangling the abusers to death.

Organic Kuwait said...

I have noticed that our people don’t pay much attention to the children’s rights maybe because they don’t have a voice that can be heard.. no body would take the responsibility of defending their rights! My friend told me maybe because it’s a hopeless case? People defend their child abusing so strongly, after the child abuse article I published a while ago I got so many feedbacks I couldn’t not believe it, many emails from mothers saying “we hit our children but that doesn’t mean we don’t love them” hitting is just part of the abuse, its just a stage u will be jumping in to if u didn’t respect all the other rights of children, their right to be loved to be nurtured breastfeed fed healthy hugged listened to understand.. the list goes on.. I hear horror stories everyday since my best friends are doctors, burning childrens behinds to potty train, sexual abuse, slapping is just the way the mother gets the child to open his mouth for the doctor!!! Bas to me, these are not very different from not breastfeeding not carrying not putting to sleep lovingly not give 999999999999999 kisses and hugs per day ..
Please do have a look at these articles:

sws said...

pink - heheheh we can't fight abuse with abuse :P

organic kuwait - i love your articles, i frequent your blog often because I have a 2 year old girl and I am in constant need for tips on parenting. Abuse has many many faces, the obvious ones that I mentioned in my blurb and the ones you mention in yours like the smoking around kids etc etc. How can we make a change?

N. said...

Bibi the problems and their current solutions that have not yet been adopted in this country are too much for one person to handle. I honestly support your efforts but we are all humans and we can all do so much. What we need is for more people to do something, for each individual or group to grab and issue and tackle it.

As for child abuse, it gets worse and worse. And usually what we hear is only a tiny bit of what really goes on! I can only pray for them and their families.

When you said "how stable can an abusive child be" You mean, abused child, not abusive. :)

Anonymous said...

I don't like to say I agree that helping expats is ignoring the Kuwaitis, but we need to focus on both. The society in general. The media is the best way. We also need a very good social TV program on abuse of all kinds.

I'm American, and my generation grew up with parents thinking physical discipline was fine. We, as the next generation know better. We have to change the cycle and we do, by not hitting our children! Love goes a long way to training kids.

pink: lol, strangle the abusers? tempting I agree, but not logical.
organic: great blog topics, bes I cannot read Arabic.
Um Twins

sws said...

n. Thanks for editing me on that, my problem is I never edit, not only in writing but also when I speak.. gets me in trouble all the time and I still speak without editing. Also, we are limited in how much we can do for society but it gives me peace of mind knowing that i'm not the one that complains in social gatherings and not do anything about it. Everytime i'm invited anywhere, everyone's just complaining all the time about this and that, mostly always social issues and of course politics but it's rare to see anyone taking action. I think people should start putting their money (or efforts) where their mouth is.

Anonymous - there are tv programs on this issue but who watches local tv anyway?

N. said...

You're welcome. :)

I also second that notion for people to act instead of talk. I believe it should be studied though. Why do these people not act? What prevents them from doing so, and then build on that. Some people may not have access to resources. Others may be able to provide help in different ways, each person on his own may be able to help in some way; some do physical labor, others provide ideas, and probably just a few delegate and lead.

When people who want to help don't know how, all they'll do is complain. However, you will also get those who are full of hot air, all complain -or- all talk and no action.

You also get those people who look down upon those who help, the opposers- I'd like to call them. There are those who do not act, because they would rather belong to the majority who sit around and do nothing, and sometimes laugh at those who do rather than join a minority who are actually working for a true cause.

These are only some issues on mind, and my 2 fils on the issue.

sws said...

"You also get those people who look down upon those who help, the opposers- I'd like to call them."

And i prefer calling them Khmaam or Khama

your 2 fils is worth gold, thanks!

Organic Kuwait said...

I try to avoid posting comments on blogs because for SOME REASON my comments tend to be longer than the original post!!!!!!!! When I comment I make sure I never check on the blog again to avoid leaving a longer comment LOL bas something happened yesterday I had to tell everybody about it!!!
Yesterday at a mall I kept hearing a weird alternating fluctuating cry, it sounded very weird since it would stop for few seconds and then start again and it only lasts few seconds too! Anyway we followed the rhythmic cry and found a poor hindia maid with dirty 7jaab and very filthy darra3a carrying a 2 years old adorable boy,,,, she would BITE HIS HAND and that’s when he would cry for few seconds and then when she stops BITING.. he hugs her in fear he is shivering maskeen and that’s when the crying stops, she would do it again and again it almost KILLED ME! The shocking part is that the mommy is RIGHT THERE! SHE IS WALKING right in front them and she never turned to see why her son is crying this way,, a little girl was there too she was complaining to her mother that her legs are tired and she cant walk of course the mother was ignoring her.. I wanted to SCREAM TURN AROUND TURN AROUND, bas of course it’s a no no to speak to stranger or tell excuse me but ur child is being abused right behind u. im a shy person and it is a sensitive subject even my husband didn’t know what to do about it, is it our business or is it non of our business??? My feeling is that its every bodies business! We went on our way, but in a short while we saw them again and it is STILL the exact same scene!! So I jumped up and said to my husbandin a kind of loud voice “AMBAIH SHOOF EL KHADDAMA GA3DA ET3Eth EL YAAHIL MASKEEN” that’s when the mother turned around , gave me a blank look, then looked at the maid.. handed her another shopping bag to carry and pushed the little girl towards her ( so the poor maid was carrying a heavy boy and 3 bags at least and holding the girls hand) and the mother kept walking.. of course im still confused… puzzled..
Regarding public smoking, Making a change is not an easy task in Kuwait, making a different is definitely not done through boring dull campaigns or seminars who the real people will not attend or uninteresting posters with unexciting catchphrase.. we need creative courageous ideas.. Something to touch the people on the streets, something original that everybody will feel excited , something people can easily volunteer to help out, getting everybody involved is not hard to do in Kuwait, I have a plan that ive been putting a lot of thought into! (yes it bothering me this much) I will email u the details!
I have put a lot of thought into the anti smoking plan for Kuwait ( yes it does bother me a lot) I will email u the details ! is ur email address on ur blog info?

sanfranciscanq8 said...

Organic, there is something called 'collective conscious' and God help that child.

Can you imagine what is being done behind closed doors?

1. Wallah ayb they take a maid out in such a filthy manner.

2. I feel nauseated each time I see these maids caring for children in malls, while the mother walks as if the child is not hers!!

3. I would not have shut my mouth. I'm sorry, this child abuse issue has gone too far lately.

Seriously, the mothers need parenting classes before motherhood. The fathers too.

The reliance on uneducated third world maids has gone on too long. I raised 6 myself, with one maid for housework, but the love and discipline was left to me. The one who loves the child. Servants should be to assist you, not raise your family.

I love your sensitivity organic. God bless you.

Jabriya Jacques said...

Child abuse is fairly rampant in Kuwait schools. Trust me, I should know - I have been the victim of child battery during Arabic lessons. The period I am referring to was the late 70s - early 80s when Arabic teachers had carte blanche to spank expat kids left right and centre. Some say, they still do. Of course, it didn't help much my studying in a Convent school where there already is a strong culture of corporal punishments and an absence of TLC. Many years hence, as a young man I remain scarred for life with what my female Arabic teachers did to me and to my psyche. I have major assertiveness issues to deal with today which is putting a damper to my career graph. The worst part is as children we find it very hard to well, tell on our teachers in whose care we are entrusted during the day, making parental corrective action obscure and far fetched.

the levantese khadima said...

A significant proportion of domestic maids who abuse children in their charge are victims themselves of mental or physical torture from their employers. In this respect, women employers are no different from their male counterparts. Much of this aggression and angst they suffer at work is brought out on the kiddies, which is both sad and unfair. We all have to realize when we point a finger at someone two fingers point back at us. Treat your maids gently, and with care and consideration and you will be amazed at the spin-off benefits this will entail for your family.
Maids from third world countries may be poor and illiterate but the majority are not blood sucking vampires as some commentators make them out to be. Further and more, as someone pointed out earlier maids are support structures only - they are not here to raise children for you while you busy yourself spawning like a bunny in the wild. Parenting is serious business and unless you are up to it, do not beget children. It's not just irresponsible; it's criminal.